Randomness is the law of nature. Lightning strikes due to natural causes; doesn’t know who is being struck or what is underneath. But why am I underneath? Who or what caused it: God, fate, my sins, my deeds or none of the above? As for my deeds, I prayed; gave charity; helped a few old ladies carry their groceries; smiled at a few beauties. True, I slipped a little on the morality floor. But one who was not struck wasn’t even a believer. His morality world wasn’t even a familiar one; was beyond the scope of the scripture. So, why me is a question that lingers eternally in the consciousness and is disowned both by science and religion. Neither Professor Jinglestein nor Maulana Pandhazari is able to answer the question.
Scientific reality is part deterministic part random. Religion is all destiny but it seems to me that my destiny is thoroughly randomized. So what am I to do? Shall I abandon faith, morality, civility, prayer and worship? Nay! I can’t. All these are woven into my psyche. In removing them I tear my personality into pieces. Faith creates a mysterious entity called hope. Hope keeps me away from despair and eventual insanity.
I follow a warped path in space. The unevenness is caused not just by my journey but by several others who trample on it and create the fate I face. We are all in it together: the king and the popper, the saint and the sinner. I was born to suffer life and endure randomness. My existence is randomized but I don’t know who is “throwing dice”, if not God who?
September 11, 2014